Friday, October 7, 2011

Greasy Wings And Cheap Beer Or What I Hate About Football

This recent SI.com article made me smile from ear to ear.  Finally, a man - who actually likes football and the NFL - says out loud what I've been thinking for years.  The vast majority of games are too slow-paced and a waste of time to watch.  The author timed watching part of a game, and due mostly to commercials (thank goodness Miller Lite is teaching us how to "Be A Man") it took 10 minutes to run 2 plays.  In fact, with the magic of DVR he was able to watch an entire NFL game in 24 minutes and 12 seconds without missing any action.

Give Me A Break
From the end of August until early February, football is in season.  Sure, you can watch most of the big NFL games on Sundays.  But there's also Monday night football.  Many weeks there will be a Thursday night game. And college games may be played on Thursday and Friday; they also tend to engulf Saturday. That leaves just Tuesday and Wednesday each week football-free, which is slightly less than 30% of our lives during those five months. Assume 8 hours of each day is spent working and another 8 spent sleeping, that gives us just 16 hours of pigskin-less life every week.  What's a fan to do?  Line up their fantasy team and arrange their winning bets, of course.

Football Food
It is a rare specimen of football fan who sits down to watch a game with a hot cup of green tea and a plate of crunchy veggies with tasty hummus.  Mostly, they'll be found drinking terrible beer, faces smeared with "buffalo sauce", yelling at the TV about something a professional athlete did as if they could have done a better job themselves.


Couch Potatoes
The NFL is excited to come to Los Angeles, but LA-ers may not be equally enthusiastic. Who would be when you have 70-degree and sunny weekend weather in the middle of December? In fact, Autumn weather is beautiful in most parts of America and super-obsessed fans are missing all of that loveliness.  Go hiking, play with your kids, take your dog for a walk, run or bike, start your own game of football with friends - options abound.

Of course I know not all NFL fans are like this. It's fun to participate in a rivalry with another team and it's a great way to show civic pride. Some great games are certainly worth watching even for the casual fan. It's possible [read: obvious] that I have some pent-up dislike for obsessive fans of the sport. However, I do hope that as people become more educated about obesity, cancer, and heart disease that football lovers are making better snack choices and building exercise into their Sundays, Mondays, Thursdays, Fridays, and Saturdays.


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